My weight loss & health improvement progress and a confession

One thing that I’ve noticed about a few of the wahms and sahms that I’ve met is that we’re stressed. We spend a lot of time caring for the family and home while putting ourselves on the back burner. I’ve done it for so long that it feels strange to make time for myself. But it is something I had to do. Something we all have to do.

If we don’t care for ourselves, we will be in no shape to care for anyone else. It might not happen right away. Months may go by before your body gives out. Or your blood pressure become uncontrollable without meds. Or you lose hair, gain weigh, gain wrinkles and gray hairs, and/or make your families crazy.

I knew something had to change when my family started to tiptoe around me more often than not. And when I went shopping for an outfit for my brother’s wedding last December and it took forever to find something that wasn’t matronly. I’m not as big as I used to be, dangit, so I didn’t think it would be so hard. I wore a size 22 top and 18 bottoms. The pictures just about killed me.

In March of this year I decided I was no longer going to board the yo-yo express. I re-embraced my vegetarian way of life and pumped up the exercise. The exercise part was not easy because I’m recovering from a back injury & re-injury (and tend to be an all or nothing kind of woman). I walk, jump on the elliptical, mix in some yoga & pilates, and have added Turbo Jam & Slim Series Express (Slim in 6 part 2). While I still eat more fat and junk than I need, I have made some decent progress.

I started at 238 and am down to 227 (I gained 2 this week, dangit). I’ve lost 7 inches overall (4 on my waist) and reduced my body fat by 5%. I wear a size 18-20 top and 16 bottoms. I’m still off blood pressure and it only goes over 140/90 after coffee or black tea (which Ive cut to 16 oz. max a day – this is huge for this caffeine-addicted, insomniac mama). I was feeling great until Tuesday when my daughter graduated from 8th grade.

My baby’s going to high school! Sniff…. I digress.

After graduation we took a few pics with her friends and and us. I thought I looked pretty good. I was wearing a fab wine colored lace wrap top and a calf-length black skirt. I checked myself several times in the mirror to be sure it looked as good as I felt in it. Well, the pictures say something different. All I saw was the big girl looking even bigger while standing next to my gorgeous daughter. She’s 5’5″ and a size 3/4. We’d made dinner plans with my mother, brother and sister in law, so I put on a happy face when what I really wanted was to cry and scream. None of the progress I’d made mattered, just because of a few pictures.

Wednesday I felt better, but still bleah about it. Every bump and exaggerated curve bothered me. Being bothered by what I see isn’t enough to make me get off track for long. I am tempted, though, but not by sweets or fat. The desire to comfort myself by feeding my sadness is screaming out loud. I’m ignoring my inner demons and enjoying a cup of lemon tea and a big glass of water. I’m concentrating on the next 10 pound goal, not on the supposed quick fix that a sandwich would bring at 1am.

I now I’m not alone in this. There are hundreds of people struggling with those demons right now. And beating them back, eventually freeing themselves completely. I’m ready to be one of the successful ones. Who’s with me?


11 thoughts on “My weight loss & health improvement progress and a confession

  1. I am.
    We only need to be a little more patient.
    If you are doing the right things, you will be able to see some progress within a month.

  2. Thanks! I know I need to be more patient, but at the same time I want it NOW. I didn’t gain overnight and cannot expect to lose it overnight. Best to you on your journey.

  3. I know its hard. I am there with you now, I have put on about 30 pounds over the last 8 years. I lose 5-6 then gain them back, back and forth. Right now my goal is to lose 5 per month then at the end of September cut of my hair for locks of love. Sorta trying to look forward to a new me, 20lbs (hopefully) thinner and a new style. I sarted June 1, and have only lost 2lbs. BTW I am on blood pressure meds now.

  4. I am SOOO with you.

    I love what you say:

    “The desire to comfort myself by feeding my sadness is screaming out loud. I’m ignoring my inner demons and enjoying a cup of lemon tea and a big glass of water. I’m concentrating on the next 10 pound goal, not on the supposed quick fix that a sandwich would bring at 1am.”

    A few weeks ago I was doing Slim in 6 (Part 1). I think I may begin doing Part 2. If I can’t get through all of it, at least I can try to do 30 mins!

    Where do you live?

  5. Thanks Canyon & Kristina. We’re all in this, so why not be in it together!

    Canyon, just wondering, which meds? I was on Benicar HCT & it had the added benefit of reducing migraines. I was just like you, losing and regaining the same 5-6 pounds. It would make hubby crazy when I’d complain because it was literally the same complaint. You have a doable goal there and it’s the same as mine.

    Kristina, I’m in SC, land of the 103-110 heat index in early June. My dogs hate me at the moment because our longer walks are limited to the am & sundown. In the afternoons they usually get some loving from the neighborhood kids, but not in this heat. 30 minutes at a time is a good goal. That’s one of the reasons I skipped Slim in Six and went for Slim Series Express – nothing longer than 30. It’s intense though. Sneaky, too. You’re going along just fine, and then BAM squat for a minute or two, then kick for two, then squat some more. Whew!

  6. Pingback: My weight loss & health improvement progress and a confession

  7. My sister lives in SC! She lives in Greenville. I would love to live there. My husband applied for a job in Clemson, but didn’t hear back from them, and met the guy that got the job. I live in Michigan, but I’m moving to Miami in August.

  8. Ah! This world is getting smaller every minute! DD was in Clemson a week ago on a trip.

    Miami, eh? Sounds great! Make sure to prepare yourself for the temperature change. Michigan temps would be heaven for me right now,

  9. The med is called maxide. It is not the beta blocker type of BP med, its more the diruretic type. I don’t think it is the problem, I think I watch the food network to much and it makes me hungry!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s